Guide to Training Your Spider-Beast
by futureauthor13
Summary: Oneshot: Just four short drabbles all about raising a pet spider-alien-thing, and the joy that can come from it. Because there just isn't enough cute Hater and Captain Tim stuff. Enjoy!


**(Because there isn't enough stuff with Hater and Captain Tim. I mean, come on! Hater having a pet is adorable! Anyway, enjoy! ^v^)**

**1. Spider-Beasts usually catch their own prey, but you should still make sure they get a proper diet - especially if prey is hard to catch in your home/on your ship or planet**

The skeletal overlord slouched over his desk, looking over the new invasion plans Peepers had given him. They were pretty good, nothing too special - 'I'm sure I could have come up with one just as good, if not better! I just had a busy schedule the past few days! That video game wasn't going to beat itself after all…' - but still pretty useful.

As he flipped over to the next page, Hater reached over and grabbed one of the double cheeseburgers he had gotten for lunch. But before he could even take a bite, something ran into his leg at full speed, nearly knocking it off. "What the-?!"

"Graah!" said the creature, making a sound that sounded like a mix between a bark and a screech.

"No Captain Tim," Hater told him, giving him a stern look, "This is my food. Mine." He thought that would be the end of it, but as Hater once again tried to take a bite of his food, he again felt the spider-beast run into him, letting out another bark/screech.

"NO!" Hater shouted, "Now knock it off!"

Captain Tim looked at him, baring his teeth before closing his mouth and sitting down on the floor with a small "hmph".

Hater nodded. "Good…" This time he did manage to take a bite of his burger… though it wasn't as good as Hater thought it would be. He took a couple more bites of it, leaving about half of it. He then smiled slightly, and held it over the desk. "Oh Captain Tiiiiim!"

The spider-beast perked up a bit, and then eagerly jumped up to grab the half-eaten burger. Once he got it in his sharp-toothed jaw, he practically shredded it. Bits of cheese and bun when everywhere, and as he chewed on the processed meat, small dribbles of ketchup ran down his lips, almost looking like blood.

"Aww~!" Hater cooed, smiling at his pet before turning back to his plate to eat his second burger.

**2. A spider-beast needs plenty of playtime and exercise, otherwise they could end up releasing their pent up energy and more negative ways… Chewing holes in your home/ship and hunting down family members or neighbors are just a couple random examples.**

"Okay Tim, go get it!" With all his strength, Hater threw the ball across his throne room. Not wasting any time, Captain Tim sped off after it.

Once he got close enough, he stretched out his tongue and flicked it against the metal wall. After all, you had to weaken your prey, plus he didn't want the chase to end. After bouncing off the wall and rolling away, Captain Tim pounced on it, growling at the ball as if it were a certain nomad.

Letting a drop of his acid drool land on it and burn a small hole through the ball. Deciding his 'prey' was weakened enough, the spider-beast grinned and tore into the ball, shredding it to pieces.

"Good job, Captain Tim!" Hater praised as he reached into the box next to his throne, getting out another ball, "Who's a bad boy? That's right! You are, Captain Tim! Okay, now…" He brought his arm back, and then chucked the ball across the room. "Go get it!"

"Okay Sir, I really do think you should look over these-" Peepers looked up from his clipboard, and blinked in surprise as it was knocked out of his hands, effectively being replaced with a rubber ball. "Hey!"

Just then, the commander froze and a low growl reached his ears. Captain Tim was staring right at him - more importantly, his 'prey' that was resting in the one-eyed chew toy's hands.

Giving a small yelp, Peepers quickly took the ball and tossed it at the spider-beast as hard as he could, hoping to get Tim to run after the ball and get as far away from him as possible. Unfortunately, in his frantic attempt to give the pet what he wanted… Peepers ended up hitting him square on the head.

A couple seconds later, nearly everyone in the ship could hear a loud, blood-curdling scream echoing through the metal halls.

"SIIIIIR! HEEEEEELP!" the commander screeched as the monster behind him refused to let up.

"You were the one who hit him with the ball," Hater told him as he simply watched the two of them run around the large throne room. The skeleton then smirked slightly. "Besides, he needs his exercise."

**3. Messes are definitely a no-no! Make sure you let your pet know that what they did was wrong, and that they shouldn't do it again.**

Hater had only been off the ship a couple days. He figured leaving Peepers in charge for that long wouldn't be too much of a problem. But apparently that wasn't the case.

The skeletal overlord could only stare at the room where several Watchdogs - including his own commander - were wrapped in gooey, green cocoons and were stuck to the ceiling. And this wasn't the only place in the ship that was covered in slime and captured Watchdogs, in fact, he hallway Hater had walked through on the way to his throne room had at least a dozen of them.

"Oh Sir! Thank Glorn! Please, you have to free us! I tried to stop him but-!"

A happy bark could be heard from behind Hater's throne, and the spider-beast in question soon sped out from behind him so he could get some well welcomed attention from his owner. Unfortunately, Hater wasn't exactly smiling back at him.

"Captain Tiiiim, did you do this?" "OF COURSE HE DID! WHAT ELSE COULD HAVE?!" Hater ignored his third in command and waited for an answer. Finally, Tim gave a small noise and a nod in reply.

Hater's frown deepened. "Bad Captain Tim!" he told him, "No-no!" He looked around at all the mess. It would take forever to get all of this cleaned up. Looking back down at the spider-beast though, he started to feel his anger start to fade away.

Tim did look sorry, sitting low on the floor and giving something that sounded like a whine. Then - as soon as he noticed Hater watching him - he rolled over on to his back, stabbing the air with his eight, tiny legs.

And the skeletal overlord couldn't help but smile. "Aw," he said as he crouched down, rubbing Tim's tummy, "I can't stay mad at you~"

Peepers looked at him in disbelief. "But Sir! What about us! How are we going to-" Just then, a bolt of lightning shot towards him, making the commander flinch. But rather than hitting him, the attack hit the base of the cocoon, causing it to be dissolved and making him land on the floor face first.

"Grab a blaster and start shooting the others down, and then you all need to get to work on cleaning all this up," Hater ordered, receiving a reluctant "Yes Sir," as a reply. Once that was done, Hater scooped the spider-beast up in his arms and started walking towards his bedroom. "I bet you missed me while I was away, didn't you, Captain Tim?" "*Screeeech!*"

Watching his lord leave, Peepers saw Captain Tim crawl onto Hater's shoulder, and grin at him, almost in a mocking way. And if he didn't know better, he could've sworn he heard the little monster laughing at him!

His eye narrowed. "I really hate that thing."

**4. Spider-beasts should get plenty of rest, though they can be a bit restless at night…**

He had finally gotten his eyes closed when he heard something in his room move. But rather than being surprised or frightened, he was only annoyed. 'Just ignore him…' Hater told himself, turning onto his stomach, 'He can't stay up all night, can he?'

Then again, the spider-beast had nearly done it before. Because Hater was out most of the time during the day, Captain Tim usually slept during that time, which meant more often than not, at nights he was wide awake.

Chewing on socks, chasing balls, crawling all over the metal walls and ceiling, growling at things, knocking things over, all of this and more made for a very sleepless night for Lord Hater.

"Knock it off!" he said finally, sitting up in bed and looking over at his pet - who was currently pouncing on another one of his 'prey' (really it was just an old soda can Hater never bothered to throw away).

"It is time, to sleep!" the skeleton told him, "and if you don't lay down, then you can sleep out in the hall." Captain Tim growled at that. Even if the hall did give him access to some prime early morning Watchdog chasing, it was also cold with no bed or blankets to curl up in. "Well then, if you don't stop, that's where you'll be sleeping!"

With that, Hater laid back down, now flat on his back. His eyelids were starting to get heavy, but before he could fully shut them, he felt something jump onto the corner of his bed, and crawl towards him. The overlord was a bit reluctant to let Tim sleep with him. Acid drool tended to burn through blankets, and mattresses. But, at the same time…

The spider-beast walked onto Hater's chest, picking up his legs and putting them down as if he was kneading bread. When he finally laid down, Hater reached up and gave him a small pet, making him emit a long, low purring sound (or maybe it was just happy growling, even Hater wasn't sure).

Closing his eyes and laying his head on the soft pillow behind him, Hater gave a small, soft smile. "Goodnight, Captain Tim." He received a face lick and a small growl as a reply. "Yeah yeah, I love you too."

**((Some of this stuff was based off moments with my own pets - ESPECIALLY that last one. There have been plenty of times where my cat's just been running around the house or making noise/doing things in my room and I'm just like "Oh my gosh, Lily, just go to sleep already!" Lol, but yeah, hope you guys enjoyed this ^v^))**


End file.
